A Beach Story

Well, I woke up this morning to dark skies and rain. Where is my wedding dress?? Hunter! Go get the matches!

I thought I'd share a random beach story with you all today. All true of course, drama and all.

I absolutely love the beach. I love the ocean. I love being in the water. It's pure bliss. What don't I love?? The creepy water creatures the roam beneath. It's not that I don't like sea life- It's beautiful and intriguing... I just prefer to encounter it at aquariums or in fishtanks or on Animal Planet. This is my only stress while I'm on vacation. My love for being in the ocean trumps my fear- so I just try not to touch the bottom of the ocean floor and that seems to help.

My Dad says that every year I get "bit" several times by a sharp seashell. No Dad!!! It was a crab!! I swear!!

SO, back to my story. Last summer on vacation, Landon had taken the kids inside for a nap. Dad and I stayed out on the beach. He was reading one of his many sports books and I decided I'd take a swim... alone. The water was soo warm and there were a lot of other people out in the ocean so why not? I jumped the smaller waves and got out past the breaking point of the waves and started bobbing around. The sun was beating down, seagulls were soaring around, the sound of children laughing while building sandcastles, the ocean water was just cool enough to feel amazing, it was the perfect day. As I laid my head back and floated over the waves I thought- This is so relaxing. It's so peaceful. I am so glad we are on vacation. It's not even nerve racking being out here all by myself......

Then it got really quiet all of a sudden.

I lifted my head up and looked around. Some of the people had swam in. But in the meantime I had floated out a little farther than I had been. Not much mind you... just 10 feet or so. That's okay, I thought. No big deal- I'll paddle back in in a few minutes. I should just put my feet down to make sure I can still touch the bottom. So I go to look down into the water to get my bearings and what do I see???

Thousands of fish had surrounded me.

I had floated into a very large school of fish. I was literally bobbing in the middle of their "school". So what did I do? COMPLETELY PANIC. But I didn't panic over the fish. I paniked because I just knew, KNEW, that there were several sharks looking for lunch and they were headed in to eat these fish right now. So naturally, I screamed bloody terror. And then I swam faster than Michael Phelps in the 200m freestyle. Seriously, you put me in dark waters with some seaweed and sharks and I am the next US Swimmer Olympiad.

So I run to report to my Dad all that has just happened to me- to which he gives me a one-eyebrowed "Mmmmhmmm." It happened Dad! I swear!!! But I guess I can't blame him for being skeptical. Several years ago we were all swimming in the ocean and a dolphin swam about 6 feet from us and I freaked out and yelled- SHARK!!! and cleared the ENTIRE beach... haha. Good times. Goooood times.

The Winter Crazies

Well, I've certainly been slacking off. It has been such a long winter. The boys were literally sick for 5 months straight and I was sick half the time as well. I was completely exhausted and had little to no creative mental capacity to keep up with my blog.

Dear Blog, I've missed you. I'm sorry I've ignored you for so long. I gave you a fresh new backround though. Now, let's get back to entertaining the whole 13.5 people who read this. Love, Me.

What is up with the weather here in Pa?? SERIOUSLY... I've had it. The next person to mention global warming within earshot of me better have good health insurance- you're in for a tail whooping. We get one really nice warm day followed by sleet and freezing temperatures. I need the sunshine! I need the warmth!! I feel like a mental patient being cooped up in the house all the time. I start getting these crazy non-sense ideas...

((What to do today, what.to.do??? I'm so bored and if I have to sit here and clean again all day today I'll go mad. I need to get out of this house- but wait, it's 33 degrees and dumping icy rain all over the place. And it's so dark outside- I should just take a nap with the kids. Yes, a nap.... and then I'll wake up and be even MORE tired than when I started. And I'll have even less motivation to do anything productive. [Enter the crazy...]

I should color my hair myself- perhaps purple highlights...I know I have a few packs of koolaid somewhere. Maybe I'll give Dylan a mohawk while I'm at it...

Maybe I'll put on my wedding dress and make Hunter carry the train while I greet all my faux party guests...**ding ding ding, I'd like to make a toast**

I should paint a mural on the living room wall- something classy, like an Elvis memorial...

Where is my 80's cd mix?? I've got my legwarmers and head band and I want to make a music video...

We should turn the house into an amusement park of somesort! Okay, Hunt- you get the sled from the basement- set it at the top of the stairs. I'll put a huge bucket of water at the bottom. That'll be the log flume ride... Yes, you and Dylan can ride but you have to make sure you stay seated and keep your arms and legs inside the sled at all times. We must insure safety you know...

What's that Hunter? You want to roast marshmallows in the living room? Sure! We'll take these Lincoln Logs and place them just like so... now, you go and get the matches while I take the batteries out of the smoke alarms. They don't teach you this sort of genius in Boy Scouts, I'll tell you that much...))

SEE WHAT I MEAN? If you know me even a little bit you know that I am really not kidding about any of those aforementioned ideas. This is what lack of fresh air does to people. Thank God for webcams...

Does anyone else feel like this?!?!

Well, I think we're finally coming to the end of this cold weather... and my winter mental illness. I hope so anyway- I'm sort of bored with the webcam. Summer weather should be here soon and I can't wait to get outside and "get the stink blown off me" as my mother always says. But until then, I'll try get some funny posts out to you in the meantime!

Dandelions and Daisys...

Lauren

I am a slacker.

Yes, that's about it. I'll be back to writing soon!